To all of us LTCers trying to move on (myself included),
I think we'll be okay. No matter how alone we are, how broken we feel, I really believe it will be okay.
We have a family. An anonymous family. We're all going through similar troubles, and we're all here supporting each other through hearts, through comments, through relatable posts.
We're all sharing our pain, and putting it together to build a foundation to support us through our rough patches.
I can't wait for the day we all look back fondly on this site when we've finally attained our happiness, and think of everyone - tagged or anonymous - who helped us.
I wish I could have a conversation with you without it feeling awkward. You seem so interesting.
I want you to text me right now. I want you to tell me she's nothing compared to me. I want you to tell me I'm perfect in your eyes. I want you to miss me as much as I miss you. I want you to love me.
And when all I get is silence, I feel heartbroken from not getting something I knew would never happen anyway.
Why is our brain so stupid when it comes to love and crushes? How can we be that creative when it comes to crushes? We can even build a lot of meanings for a quick innocent glance...
That's really mysterious...
I like you... I think. But whenever I see you, and you see me (which is not that often since we don't have classes together), I act as if I don't like you. I don't know what's wrong with me? I can't even say a simple hi to you nor flash a smile. I just turn my head away and avoid eye contact. And then after that small moment passes, I realize I'm an idiot. I could have done something just then, but I didn't. I think I was too afraid.
I feel so rich.
Freaking. Rich. Because next semester, I have a class with you. So I'll get to see you. For forty minutes EVERY DAY. Most people would think that amount of time is hardly anything at all. But we were never in any classes together last semester, so I feel like the wealthiest person alive.
It feels like gold is spewing from my fingers.
To think that I'll be graced with your presence for forty minutes a day. I'll be in your general vicinity, crud, it makes my heart squeeze and dance every time I think about it.
On Tuesday, I'm going to be the luckiest girl alive.
This morning, she walked to the bus stop and the snow was in love with the trees, the moon is in love with sky. Oh, how the tires were in love with the bus, how the driver was was love with his wheel. How the flag was in love with the pole, how the door was in love with the frame.
And this never-been-kissed girl just laughed, because there was so much love in the world and she got to be a part of it.
yesterday my bio teacher told my class that you can't fix people, but you can show them affection.
when he was in high school, he started a relationship with a girl in his class. he did what any lovesick fool would do, he bought her flowers and chocolate. she reacted to this with questions, completely unaware that this was what was the cliche expected from a boyfriend. what he didn't know was that she lived in an abusive household.
one day when they were hanging out, her ex-boyfriend came over to collect a few of his old things (obviously just an excuse to see her). he too was abusive. my bio teacher was 18 at the time, his girlfriend was 17, and her ex-boyfriend was 16. she told my bio teacher that her ex-boyfriend would hit her and that he could not hit him because if they fought my bio teacher would be charged for offenses.
my bio teacher sat in the corner when her ex-boyfriend came over. He reflects that it was one of the most painful things he has watched.
their relationship didn't last, but he treated her well. the girlfriend later entered the navy and got her life back together. a few years later, she called him and thanked him. she had just gotten engaged and told him that she would have never known what true affection was if she never met him.
your actions can truly affect someone's life without even knowing by just being you.
To think of all I could have done in the hours I've spent thinking about you. I could've become fluent in french. I could've learned Greek philosophy, how to juggle, the viola. If I sang every time I thought about how, I would be on Broadway by now. If I wrote, I would be a best-selling author.
All these moments I've stored away for you. All the love I've put into the idea of you. But I don't see it as time wasted. Sometimes just loving is enough.